For the Life of Me
by subcutaneous
Summary: Set after Lydia leaves her baby on the doorstep. Jane and Maura must help Angela with the new addition, along with delving into their latest case and testing the boundaries of their friendship. Rizzles.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is my first Rizzles fic, and I am so excited to contribute to this amazing fandom! The story takes place as a season four opener, starting in right where we left off in Season 3. Thank you to the writers and creators of this show, to the brilliant actors for inspiring me, and to my beautiful Beta for being my muse. I greatly appreciate reviews! Hope you enjoy :)

* * *

"Oh my God!"

Angela shrieked joyfully as she watched her daughter gently rock the baby boy in her arms. Not surprisingly, Mrs. Rizzoli was instantly in love. It didn't matter whether he was the offspring of her despicably pathetic ex-husband or her youngest, most troubled son. She knew right then and there that she would love him just the same. Torn between the warm feeling she got from watching Jane hold the tiny human and her own desire to cradle him, she finally reached out and took the child, cooing and awing incoherently.

Jane snapped herself back to reality and rolled her eyes as she watched her mother go to pieces.

"He looks just like Tommy," Angela sniffed, smiling as she bounced the baby with one hand and rubbed his cheek with the other.

"Ma," Jane tried to stop her. "You can't just make this in to what you want it to be."

Angela ignored her, too caught up in the precious moment to let Jane's doubts seep in. Maura was on her feet next, sidling up to Angela so she could check the little one for signs of distress.

"Temperature seems normal. Color's fine," she reported. "He looks good. But we should get him to a pediatrician soon. Who knows what he's been through."

"You wanna hold him?" Angela offered the baby to Maura, placing him against her chest. Maura, unsure at first, slowly fixed her hands behind the baby's back and closed her eyes as she felt the warmth sink in. Angela grinned even wider, then looked over at Jane, who was back to being awe struck as she watched her best friend hold her nephew/brother.

"Doesn't she look perfect holding him?" Angela marveled. "What an angel."

Jane shook her head again, even as her cheeks turned pink.

"Ma, we cannot keep this baby! He's not ours."

"Then whose is he? Lydia obviously doesn't want him, and if she's willing to leave him on a doorstep it doesn't say much for her maternal instincts."

"Exactly, which is why I need to call in and report her for child abandonment."

"And have him taken away from us!?" Angela stood between Maura and Jane. "Over my dead body!"

"Shhh!" Maura cut in as the infant started to fuss. "He's getting upset. It's not good for newborns to hear arguing. The neural pathways that correlate with personality and disposition begin to form in the womb. It's really a remarkable…"

"Maura, could you spare us the neo-natal psychology lesson for the moment!? Please?" Jane snarked.

"Just keep your voices down," Maura whispered as she crossed to the kitchen, where she balanced the baby expertly on one shoulder while looking for anything that could serve as a cradle.

"Seriously, Ma. You know this isn't right. We can't just raise this baby like he's ours. You'll get too attached, and Lydia could come back any time for him. Then what?"

"Well we're not puttin' him out on the street tonight!" Angela whispered harshly, putting her foot down.

Jane couldn't argue with that. It was late, and they had already been through so much this evening with Maura's near-death run in with her serial killer date. She figured it was best to wait till morning to do anything.

"I've got it!" Maura whispered loudly from the kitchen. The Rizzoli women turned their heads, only to find Maura standing proudly over the counter with the swaddled baby laying peacefully in a large, turquoise Le Crueset casserole. Angela laughed hard before rushing over to continue fawning. Even Jane couldn't help but crack a smile, until the baby started crying harder.

"He needs formula!" Angela insisted. "One of you run out. I'll stay with him."

"Actually, I have some here," Maura remembered, reaching into the cupboard next to the refrigerator and grabbing the canister, along with an empty bottle. "I decided to keep one from the stuff for the baby shower. Just in case."

"Just in case?" Jane gawked. "What, were you anticipating we'd be left with someone else's illegitimate child?"

"Knock it off!" Angela cut in again. "He didn't do anything to deserve your nasty attitude."

"I'm sorry I can't just put on a happy face and start playing house, okay? This is crazy."

Maura cornered Jane against the side of the fridge, putting a hand on her shoulder and whispering out of earshot of Angela.

"Jane, listen. Your mother's been through a lot. This may be the perfect thing to help her heal from all of the anguish she's experienced over the past few months. She needs to feel needed and loved unconditionally. What better person to give her those things than a baby who probably needs her just as much?"

Jane pursed her lips and flared her nostrils, looking off to the side, up at the ceiling, anywhere but into Maura's bright green eyes. Once she did that she knew she'd give in. Finally, Maura gently grabbed Jane's cheek and forced her to look at her. The corners of Jane's lips turned up even as she rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Okay," she huffed. "But tomorrow I'm tracking Lydia down and making sure she really wants to give him up. She's gonna have to sign the paperwork if that's what she wants. I'm not gonna let her break my mother's heart."

"The only thing that's breaking my heart right now is that this baby is crying because he's hungry!" Angela cut in, less oblivious than they thought.

"Sorry," Maura smirked, turning back to Jane for a second before moving to the counter, where she began to mix the formula. "Breast milk really is much better for newborns. Studies show that…"

"Look, this'll have to do, unless you have some genius plan to make one of us start lactating," Jane joked.

"Actually…"

"No," Jane cut her off. "Whatever you're about to suggest, just no."

"There are hormones one can take to stimulate lactation. I read a fascinating article about a lesbian couple who both wanted to breast feed, so the adoptive mother took the hormones until she was able to participate equally."

"Wow," Angela marveled. "They really can do anything these days."

Jane tried to control her blush from spreading noticeably. She leaned against the counter near her mom, who passed the baby off to her once again. Jane forced a smile and took him, rocking to try to stave off his cries, but to no avail.

"Yeah, well," Jane cleared her throat before softening her tone. "I don't think my breasts are big enough to feed a kid this hungry, hormones or no hormones."

"Breast size has no correlation to the amount of breast milk that can be produced," Maura corrected.

"Thanks, Dr. Spock," Jane shook her head.

"This will work just fine," Angela said as she handed Jane the bottle.

The three of them made their way back to the living room. Maura and Angela grinned uncontrollably as they watched Jane feed the little man, his cries ceasing as he guzzled down the formula and closed his eyes. It was the most adorable thing either of them had ever seen.

When he was finished, Jane handed him back to Angela, who burped him against her shoulder and didn't miss a beat when he dribbled a little on her sweater.

"I'll keep him in the room with me," Angela didn't so much offer as demand. "He should sleep for a couple hours, maybe longer if he feels safe."

"Let me know when he wakes up," Maura said. "I'll make more formula."

"Not to worry," Angela shook her head. "I'll handle it. I raised three already, and they turned out okay. I don't mind. Besides, you girls deserve a rest. You went through a lot today."

Neither of them could argue with that. Angela kissed them both on the forehead and left them on the couch before toting the baby and his Le Crueset crib into her room.

"She'll be a mess if we have to give this baby back to Lydia," Jane shook her head, sinking into the cushions and pulling the blanket back up over the two of them. "Part of me hopes we can't find her, but the other part doesn't want anything bad to happen to her, as much as I can't stand the woman."

"Either way, I think there's grounds for claiming she's an unfit mother," Maura pointed out. "We could do a paternity test. Get Tommy custody."

"Or my father," Jane reminded her sourly.

"Right," Maura sighed. "Do you think Frank would even want…"

"He walked out on his pregnant fiancé," Jane scoffed. "I don't think he wants anything to do with this."

Maura put her hand on Jane's shoulder again and squeezed before rubbing softly. Jane had stripped down to just her white tank and black pants, muscles sore from all the action throughout the day. The brunette closed her eyes and lay her head against the back of the sofa as she curled in a little more, still facing Maura, but keeping a reasonable distance. Still, she reached out and rubbed Maura's upper thigh as she had done earlier.

"What if I had slept with Rockman?" Maura asked suddenly.

"Then…you could have added him to the list of all the other creeps you've slept with."

"Hey!" Maura punched her in the shoulder. Jane grabbed it and feigned agony as she tried not to crack up. "I'm serious. This was a new level of bad judgment."

"So you admit you have terrible taste in men?" Jane smirked.

"I didn't say that," Maura shook her head. "I just…"

"Don't worry," Jane interrupted again. "It's not like I have any stones to throw. I can't pick 'em either."

"Casey wasn't bad," Maura admitted. "He was handsome, charismatic…"

"Emotionally unavailable," Jane cut in. "Even before his accident, he was distant."

"But I thought you loved him?"

"I did. I mean, I do love him. But…I don't know if I'm _in love_ with him….anymore. And it has nothing to do with the fact that he's paralyzed. It's just, I don't know, complicated."

"And you're fickle," Maura jabbed.

"I am not fickle!" Jane defended herself. "Or okay, maybe I am. Or maybe I just haven't met 'the one' yet."

"Maybe there's no such thing," Maura sighed, sadly.

"What do you mean? What about your Australian hunk-a-hunk-a-burnin'-love?"

Maura rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I can't be with him, so obviously he's _not_ the one."

"But you want him to be."

"No. I don't," Maura insisted. "I don't want someone who I can't trust."

"I don't know if I have it in me to trust anyone anymore," Jane sighed. "I mean, besides my family. And Frost. And Korsak."

"And?" Maura looked at her, mouth agape.

"And?" Jane mimicked her. "And you, of course. But that goes without saying. You're family too."

Maura's mouth continued to hang open, but her face slowly turned red and her eyes welled up with tears. Jane had never called her family before. Angela had, even Frankie had, but not Jane. She knew she felt that way, but to hear her finally acknowledge it made all the difference.

"Maur…Maura, what did I do? Oh my god…"

"Nothing…I mean…just…you said I was family," she sniffled. "That's…really nice."

"Of course you are," Jane grabbed Maura's shoulders and squeezed, rubbing them as she pulled her a little closer. "How could you not know that already?"

"I did," she nodded, wiping away a tear. "It's just…it's been a long day…"

"I know," Jane whispered, finally pulling the blonde into a hug. Maura wrapped her arms around Jane tightly, squeezing as her tears let up and she began to smile again, burying her face into Jane's wild locks. She smelled so good, so familiar, so much like home. Maura didn't want to let go, but Jane finally pulled back a little and wiped away another tear.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed."

"Will you stay?" Maura asked. "Please?"

"Of course I'll stay," Jane smiled. "Besides, my mother would kill me if I wasn't here in the morning to help. I don't care what she says."

The two laughed as they made their way into Maura's bedroom and collapsed on the bed, too exhausted to do anything but fall right to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

"_Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," Jane sat in the confessional, playing with the knee socks just beneath her Catholic school jumper._

"_What is it?" Frank's voice whined from the other side. "I'm busy."_

"_Can't you just listen to me for five minutes?" Jane complained. "You're never there when I need you."_

"_You don't need me." Jane could faintly make out her father shaking his head behind the wicker screen. "You know what you want and you're gonna do it no matter what I say."_

"_Pop…I don't…"_

"_Shhh," he interrupted. "Patriot's game's about to start."_

_Jane heard him get up and close the heavy wooden door behind him. She sat looking down at her lap, continuing to pull at the hem of her socks, until the door in front of her opened. She looked up to find Maura kneeling in front of her, smiling as she reached out and traced the sides of her face, paying extra attention to her sharp cheekbones. Jane leaned forward a little, unable to stop herself from moving closer, until Maura threw her arms around her and buried her face against her chest. Jane returned the embrace, running her fingers through the strawberry blonde tresses beneath her chin, relishing in their silkiness, breathing in the amber aroma that had been teasing her for years. All she could do was move her fingers through the hair, frozen, heart pounding, threatening to give her away. _

Jane's eyes slowly opened, seconds before she realized her fingers were still moving through the golden, silky locks. Maura had pressed herself up against the side of her, as she was apt to do when they slept in the same bed. Her head rested firmly against Jane's right shoulder, and despite the slight pains that shot through to the scars in her back, she didn't dare move. She did, however, stop moving her fingers and pull them away from Maura's head, taking a very slow, very silent breath.

"You can keep doing that," Maura mumbled sleepily, startling Jane a bit. "It feels good."

Jane felt like tiny sirens were going off all over her body, alarms signaling she needed to stay in control. She shook it off and pulled away painfully, making sure Maura's head fell gently against the pillow.

"I should go home and get ready for work."

"You can shower here," Maura whispered groggily. "Borrow clothes."

Jane sat on the edge of the bed and looked back at her, narrowing her eyes and smirking.

"When have I ever borrowed your clothes?"

"Never hurts to try," Maura smiled.

"Well you can keep trying," Jane stretched as she stood. "I prefer my own style, thank you very much."

"Suit yourself," Maura yawned as she rolled over on her side. "What about the baby?"

"What about him?"

"I thought you wanted to help."

"Yeah, well, somebody's gotta start dealing with reality here," Jane argued. "I'm sure the two of you can handle him while I go put the BOLO out on Lydia."

"You're right," Maura acknowledged as she sat up. "I'll be there in an hour or so."

"See ya," Jane didn't look back at her again as she headed for the door.

Maura continued to sit in bed, staring after where Jane had gone. She slowly brought her own fingers to her scalp, rubbing gently where Jane had trailed between her blonde waves. She lay back down against the pillow, closed her eyes, and smiled.

* * *

"No sign of Lydia Sparks anywhere in the Metro-area," Frost reported.

"Nothing?" Jane sat on the edge of his desk and looked over his shoulder at the computer. "Damn."

"Her mother hasn't seen her in a week," Korsak chimed in. "Not sure how coherent her perception is though. She's pretty far in the tank.

"We've gotta keep looking," Jane shook her head. "Put out an APB to all surrounding states."

"She obviously doesn't want to be found, Jane," Korsak noted. "Someone who's willing to leave their child on a doorstep is probably willing to go to great lengths to disappear. I don't understand how anyone can do it, especially a mother."

"Not every woman's cut out to be a mom, Korsak," Jane argued.

"It's a shame," he grumbled. "Thankfully the kid's got you guys. Especially Angela. Now _there's_ a woman who was destined for motherhood."

"Right now I think she's working on sainthood," Jane agreed.

The three cops looked up as they heard heels clicking towards them, signaling Maura's arrival. Jane tried not to show any reaction as she watched the Chief Medical Examiner stalk towards them in her red, form-fitting blouse and black leather skirt. Jane was convinced Maura could make a muumuu look good, but she was always excited to see whatever towing-the-line-of-professional ensemble the blonde would put together next.

"Any sign of her?"

"Nothing," Jane told her.

"In the meantime, I suppose we could run a DNA test. If you can get Tommy here, I can have it done this morning."

"Where's the baby?" Jane asked.

"Downstairs. With your mother."

Jane's eyes went wide.

"She brought him to work!?"

"You have to see this," Maura smiled. "It's incredibly cute."

Jane rolled her eyes and followed Maura into the elevator. When they got to the café, she could not believe the sight behind the cash register. Angela Rizzoli was right in the center of all the action, ringing up customers while running back and forth between the kitchen and the dining area, serving people their breakfast with an infant strapped to her chest in a red and blue checkered scarf she had fashioned into a sling.

"Ma!" Jane whispered loudly. "What are you doing?"

"What?" Angela responded. "I had to come to work, and I couldn't just leave him with anybody. I can be a working grandmother! There's nothing wrong with it."

"Oh really?" Jane looked at her skeptically. "What does Mr. Stanley think?"

"He thinks it's not great, but what's he gonna do? Fire me? He can't keep up with all these people by himself. Meanwhile, I can take care of all-a-them _and_ a baby. Men really are handicapped when it comes to multi-tasking, I tell you what."

Maura was in an absolute giggle fit. Jane glared at her as the M.E. tried to get herself under control.

"Angela," Maura finally cleared her throat and spoke. "We need a strand of the baby's hair so we can do a paternity test."

"Oh, of course!" Angela stopped pouring coffee for a minute and offered her chest to Maura so she could get to the infant. "Just don't hurt him! His little head is so soft."

"I won't," Maura promised as she pulled the hair gently. The baby didn't budge.

"Is Tommy coming? What if it's…" Angela trailed off, unable to speak the words she feared the most.

"Let's try Tommy first," Jane cut in. "Process of elimination. If it's not him…then… we'll move to the next step."

"Okay," Angela sighed. "Let me know as soon as you find out."

The two younger women nodded and made their way back up to the lab.

* * *

"Congratulations!" Maura beamed at Tommy, who was leaning against an autopsy table with his sister as they waited for the results. "He's yours!"

Jane grabbed her brother and gave him the biggest hug she had ever given him, fueled more by relief than anything else.

"Thank god," she sighed. "Tommy, you're a daddy! How do you feel?"

"Okay, I guess," Tommy looked a little baffled. "Kinda weird."

"You should name him," Maura insisted. "We can't call him 'Baby Rizzoli' forever."

"I don't know," Tommy shook his head. "Shouldn't Lydia do that?"

"Tommy," Jane put her hand on her brother's shoulder. "Lydia might not want anything to do with him. We're still trying to find her, but he may end up being your responsibility. With a lot of help from mom, of course."

"God, I hope so," Tommy looked like he might pass out. Maura tried to steady him from the other side. "I don't know if I'm ready for this, but, I guess I got no choice."

"Everyone has a choice," Maura assured him. "Lydia chose not to be here for your son. But _you're_ here. That's the first step to being a good parent."

Tommy appeared to be thinking for a few minutes. Maura looked at Jane, who smiled back, still a little worried, but happy to finally have an answer.

"How about Nicholas?" Tommy finally suggested. "Nico for short."

"Why Nico?" Jane asked.

"I dunno. I just like that name."

"Then Nico it is," Maura smiled.

Just then, Jane's phone rang.

"Rizzoli," she answered. "Be right there. Maura, we got a body down by Fenway. Tommy, go tell mom the good news."

As much as the two women wanted to be there when Angela found out Nico really was her grandson, they knew they'd have plenty of time to see her gushing later. Right now, duty called.


	3. Chapter 3

"What do we got?" Jane asked as they approached the crime scene.

"Victim's a young woman. Found her in the bushes on the corner of Huntington Avenue and Louis Prang Street," Frost informed them as they walked to the spot where the young woman's body lay. The girl looked like a typical college student: blonde hair, blue eyes, casual clothes. Maura kneeled down next to her and gently moved her head from side to side, lightly pressing the gaping red wound at the side of her temple.

"Looks like a single gunshot to the head."

"Check this out," Frankie called from a few feet away. Jane met him where he stood in the middle of the crosswalk. "The blood trails from the bushes to here."

"What's that?" Jane asked as she bent down next to a small skeletal-looking figure painted next to the white lines of the crosswalk.

"That? That's a boogeyman. They're all over the city."

"A 'boogeyman'?" Jane scowled. "Sounds pretty ominous to me."

"It's just street art."

"Nothing's 'just' anything in a crime scene, Frankie," Jane admonished. "You wanna make detective, you've really gotta start thinking like one."

"Right," he rolled his eyes.

"Get a picture of this. Run it through the database when we get back to the station."

"Okay, boss," Frankie snarked under his breath as Jane returned to Maura's side.

"Looks like she was hit by a vehicle," Maura reported. "Bruising all along the left side of her body."

"That doesn't make any sense," Korsak shook his head. "Why shoot someone if you've already killed them with your car?"

"I didn't say hit-and-run was the cause of death," Maura corrected.

"Watch it, Korsak," Jane warned. "You know how she gets when we jump to conclusions."

"So they hit her, but don't do enough damage for her not to make an ID. That might be enough reason to take her out," Frost contributed.

"Enough hypothesizing," Maura finally stood. "I need to get her back to the lab, and then I will tell you what happened."

"You heard the woman!" Jane smirked. "Let's get this girl wrapped up."

* * *

"'Wrapped up' is such a gruesome way to put it," Maura scolded as she and Jane returned to the car. "It makes her sound like a submarine sandwich."

"Can't you just say a 'sub'? Why do you have to..."

"The term originated in a restaurant in Scollay Square, right here in Boston, at the beginning of World War I. They were created to entice the navy servicemen stationed at Charlestown. It was intentionally meant to look like a submarine."

"Gee, I never could have lived with myself without knowing that story," Jane seethed.

"When you use slang, you erase the history associated with the etymology of words. _Your_ history. The sandwiches were first created by Italian Americans."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure my great, great grandfather was just the guy who first thought it up," Jane rolled her eyes. "Because all of us Italian Americans are related."

Maura shook her head and leaned against the window as Jane pulled away.

"Racist," Jane smirked.

Maura looked back at her and scoffed, punching her in her arm.

"How dare you…"

"I'm kidding, Maura! Come on. Let's get back to the station safely. We don't need another accident today. Or ever."

* * *

"The trauma from the hit-and-run was not the cause of death," Maura concluded as Jane stood by, watching her move between the body and the computer. "It was the gunshot wound to the right temple. No other signs of trauma or sexual assault."

"Frankie found something," Frost said as he entered the lab. "The skeleton marking from the crosswalk came back in the database as a gang symbol associated with Bonesucker, wanted for battery, grand theft and hit-and-run."

Jane looked down at the photo paper-clipped to the manila folder.

"Looks like we've got our boogeyman," she sighed. "Do we have locations on the other hit-and-runs?"

"Yes. All with the same skeleton tagged on the pavement."

"So this guy's taking credit," she noted, biting her nails as she leaned back against the table. "I'll call Rondo and see if I can get anything else on him."

"Good idea," Frost said. "Jane, all of the victims were young, blonde women. All of them died at the scene."

"Except for this one," she shook her head. "She must have seen him, maybe even tried to get away."

"There's no sign of struggle," Maura chimed in.

Jane glared at her.

"Still…she could have crawled…or…yes…tried to get away," the M.E. admitted.

"Thank you," Jane nodded. "I'm gonna go with Frost to talk to Rondo. If you speak with my mother, ask her if she needs me to pick anything up for Nico on my way home."

"Home?" Maura smirked. "Are you moving in with me too?"

Jane froze. She felt her neck heat up, but otherwise kept her cool.

"I think you've got a full house already," she played it off. "But I might spend some more time there, if that's all right with you."

Maura made a ridiculously cute face back at Jane. Jane tried not to melt visibly as she left to seek out her favorite neighborhood CI.

* * *

"Vanilla!" Rondo called when he saw Jane approaching. "What do I owe this sweet, sweet…"

"You know anything about Bonesucker?" Frost cut to the chase.

"Bonesucker? Hmm. Let me think. I got so many goons to keep track of, you see, it's kinda hard to pin it down to…"

Jane handed him a twenty and glared.

"Ah, Vanilla, you don't have to play so hard all the time," he smiled, then whispered. "But I kinda like it."

"Give it up, Rondo."

"Okay. Bonsucker. He's a really bad dude. Really bad. Not the kind to be seen in daylight kind of bad."

"How can we find him?"

"If I knew that, I probably wouldn't be standing here breathing right now!" Rondo laughed. "But I tell you what. I may be able to find someone who might know where his posse tends to do business."

"Well?"

"I said I might. I don't know if…"

Jane sighed loudly and handed him another ten.

"That's all I've got, Rondo. You better make it worth coming out here, or else I've got other folks I can…"

"Nah, nah, nah!" Rondo shouted. "You don't have to go looking to anybody else, Vanilla. I'll get you what you need. Might take me a day or two to track him down, but I got you. You know I got you, baby girl!"

Jane rolled her eyes but couldn't help smiling at the strangely lovable, reliable man before she and Frost called it a day.


	4. Chapter 4

"Who wants more lasagna!?" Angela shouted from the kitchen.

"Geez, Ma, are you feeding this baby lasagna?" Jane called back from the living room as she held up Nico in front of her. "He looks like he's grown since yesterday."

"He probably has! I had to stop and feed him four times today already. I thought Mr. Stanley would have a fit."

"Unlikely," Maura whispered. "Infants grow very rapidly, but not that fast. Maybe his diaper's full."

"Uh, I think you're right," Jane scrunched up her nose as she took a whiff. "You wanna…"

"Why me?" Maura scoffed. "I'm sure you know how to change a diaper."

"I do, but…you're the more maternal type, obviously. I thought you might like to do it."

"Nobody _likes_ changing diapers, Jane."

"That's not true!" Angela corrected as she joined them. "I always loved changing my kid's diapers. It was one of the only times I could get 'em to hold still. Except for Jane. She tried squirming away even then. One time she ran right down the hallway, naked as a…"

"Ma, stop!"

Maura laughed so hard she had to wipe away a tear. Jane scowled at her and tried to hand her mother the baby.

"I'm not done with the dishes," she argued. "Where's Tommy? He needs to learn how to do it."

"He said he'd be back tomorrow," Maura told them. "He had to run out and meet his friend to set up a schedule for painting houses next week."

"Well then, I guess you two will have to duke it out for who gets the honors!" Angela smiled before returning to the kitchen.

Jane finally relented to helping Maura. The two went into the bathroom and laid Nico on the counter. Jane stood by with the clean diaper and wipes while Maura did most of the work.

"Tommy's not staying here too, is he?" Jane had to ask.

"No," Maura confirmed. "He'll visit every day and vowed to support the baby financially, but your mother pretty much insisted she'd be the full-time caretaker for now. At least until he's a little older."

"Who, Nico or Tommy?" Jane smirked.

Maura glared back playfully.

"That's good," Jane sighed, relieved. "My brother can barely take care of himself, let alone another human being. Plus, you know. I wouldn't want it to be awkward for you with him staying here."

"It's not awkward," Maura insisted. Since she told Tommy there was no chance of them getting romantically involved, he had backed off. For the most part. "Not that awkward."

"If you say so," Jane huffed.

"Maybe it's awkward for you," Maura smirked.

"What?" Jane's stomach did a flip.

"I mean, because he's your brother. And I'm your best friend. It's understandable."

Jane didn't want to talk about it anymore, so she shook it off and changed the subject back to Nico, who Maura had cleaned up very nicely. The blonde looked down at him adoringly and tickled his tummy. It made Jane feel both warm and empty inside.

"My mother's gonna be exhausted," Jane sighed. "She's a lot older than when she had us, as much as she doesn't want to admit it. I don't know if she can do this on her own."

"She won't be on her own," Maura shook her head. "She has me."

"Yeah, and you're busy enough as it is," Jane reminded.

"Well," Maura changed her tone to a sweeter, more convincing cadence as she turned around to face Jane while holding Nico against her chest. "I know we were joking earlier, but you could move in too. At least temporarily."

Jane tried not to let her jaw drop all the way to her chest.

"I…uh…I wouldn't want to overcrowd things here…or, I mean, you know, cramp your style."

"Jane," Maura laughed. "I've got a two-day old baby and your mother staying with me already. Obviously I'm not worried about 'cramping my style.'"

"I just mean…I mean…where would I sleep? Here? In the guest house? With my mother and…"

"You can sleep with me," Maura blurted out, seemingly unaffected and unaware of what that sounded like.

"Uh…" Jane continued to fumble.

"It's not like you don't sleep here half the time anyway," Maura argued. "But you know what, it's fine. I understand if you need your space."

"No, no," Jane jumped in. "I don't…I mean, I like my space, but you're right. I should be here." She swallowed before continuing. "I wanna help out."

"Great," Maura smiled. "It'll be fun. Between the three of us, we'll be just fine."

"Great," Jane smiled awkwardly. "So…maybe I should go home tonight and get some things together, and then tomorrow I'll start staying here, maybe just, you know, a couple nights a week."

"Okay," Maura nodded. "Whatever you're comfortable with. I appreciate it."

"Of course," Jane smiled nervously.

She said goodbye to her mother and kissed Nico on the forehead before heading back to her apartment to pack a suitcase. She couldn't believe this was happening, but felt like the more she protested, the more obvious it would be. The truth was, she was so in love with Maura, she knew it would be absolute torture sleeping in the same bed with her night after night and not being able to hold her like she wanted, touch her like she had craved from the moment she laid eyes on her.

Sleeping in the same bed every once in a while was one thing. She always had plenty of time to recover once she was back in her own space and could remind herself why she could never tell Maura how she really felt. Their friendship meant way too much to her for anything to screw it up. Besides, she had worked so hard all her life to ignore those feelings, starting all the way back in elementary school. Ginny Ribese was the most beautiful girl in the second grade, and Jane knew she liked her differently than the other girls.

But everything in her world told her she was supposed to like boys. And she did like boys, well enough. She did like Dean, and Casey. She enjoyed having sex with them once she was finally able to talk herself into it. But it was never enough, and deep down she knew it never would be. She tried her best not to think about it because it made her more depressed and anxious than any murder case ever had. But now, her worst fear and her biggest dream were staring her right in the face, and there was no looking away, no ignoring it. She'd have to find a way to deal without messing up the best relationship she'd ever had.


	5. Chapter 5

About a week and five terribly painful, mostly sleepless nights later, Jane found herself sitting at her desk, exhausted from the number of times she'd woken up to help change a diaper or feed Nico, and even more exhausted from the amount of energy she was exuding to keep a respectful distance between her and Maura. Every time she woke up with the blonde's limbs strewn across her body, she adjusted herself carefully, trying her best not to wake the other woman.

The worst had been Saturday morning, when Angela told them they should sleep in. Jane had no excuse to jump out of bed then. One of Maura's smooth, deliciously toned legs had somehow found itself wedged between Jane's thighs. To make matters worse, when Jane tried to inch away, Maura wrapped one of her arms across her waist and held on tight, mumbling little cries in her sleep, apparently having a bad dream. Not wanting to startle her or hurt her feelings, Jane held out as long as she could until she finally said she had a cramp and needed to walk it off. When Maura offered to massage it for her, she said nothing and left the house for the rest of the day.

To make matters worse, they weren't having any luck with this hit-and-run/murder case either. Jane sat with her head in her hands, elbows propped up, trying not to imagine what could possibly add to her list of woes next.

"Jane, this is Agent Bernard Gronan," Korsak introduced the tall, chiseled-faced, undeniably handsome man to Detective Rizzoli. His dark skin and greenish-blue eyes had even the straightest of the male cops doing a double take. "He's been assigned to help with the Bonesucker case."

"Hello," Jane forced a smile, shaking his hand firmly before turning to Korsak. "I'm sorry, why is this an FBI case now?"

"Because," Gronan chimed in. "Those skeleton tags you found in the crosswalks? They're not just in Boston. They started here, but we've found them all over the U.S."

"All associated with hit-and-runs?" Jane asked, appearing more somber.

"Yes," Gronan confirmed. "It's become the most popular gang-initiation to date. Bonesucker gets his new men to hit the target so hard she usually dies on impact. If not, they finish her off. At first we thought they were random because they only do it every couple of months, when a new local gang leader is chosen, and the body is usually dumped far from the site of the accident. It's an initiation reserved for all the top dogs, and it's been going down for over a decade."

"Jesus," Jane sighed. "We've got a lot more on our plates than we thought."

"That's why I'm here," Gronan smiled, stunningly. "I'm gonna help you find this asshole once and for all."

"Deal," Jane smiled and shook his hand again, a little less confrontationally than before.

After several hours of interviewing some of the guys Rondo suggested, plus going through every hit-and-run case that matched their victim-profile from the last decade, the two still weren't getting anywhere.

"Tell me," Jane finally couldn't help herself. "How does a pretty boy like you become a gang-expert?"

Gronan laughed, trying to appear modest, but it was almost impossible.

"This pretty boy grew up in the projects of Detroit," he admitted. "They almost pulled me in, but I was smart, did well in school, found my way out."

"I never would have guessed," Jane shook her head. "You must get that all the time."

"And you must get people wondering how such a beautiful woman ends up working homicide."

Jane let herself blush a little.

"That's right," she laughed.

"Wanna share your story?" he asked.

"I think I'll save it for another time," she smiled politely, not feeling like digging in to the mix of Rizzoli-family history and even more tumultuous aspects of her psyche that led her to where she was today.

"Okay," he conceded. "How about over drinks tonight?"

"I…don't know." She was suddenly fully aware of the route her flirting had taken. As usual, she started panicking when faced with the consequences.

"Come on," Gronan tried again. "We deserve it."

_Don't do it, Jane_ one of the little voices in the back of her head told her. The other said this was the perfect distraction from Maura.

"Okay," she gave in. "One drink."

They cleaned up their work spaces for the evening and Gronan said he needed to report to headquarters for a while, so they agreed to meet up at The Dirty Robber at eight. As Jane was wrapping up her end, she almost didn't even hear Maura approach her desk. _It's working already_, she thought.

"Your mother's making a soup tonight," she shared with Jane. "I can't remember the name of it. It's not your most common Italian fare."

"Stracciatella?"

"That's it! I've never had it before."

"Oh my god, really?" Jane gaped. "Can we mark this day down on the calendar? You've never tried Stracciatella before? I could have sworn you were familiar with every delicacy known to man."

"Stop!" Maura poked her in the ribs. Jane slid back in her chair and held her side.

"I mean it," Jane laughed. "You must really be exhausted."

"I am," Maura sighed.

"Me too."

"Well, at least we don't have to cook," Maura perked up again. "When do you think you'll be finished? I thought we could pick up a bottle of this Montepulciano I've been wanting to try."

"Uh, I'll be done soon," Jane started. "But, actually, I'm not going home…I mean, to your place…tonight."

Maura appeared very taken aback. She sat on the edge of Jane's desk and crossed her legs beneath her gold, curve-hugging dress. Jane couldn't stop from licking her lips, but did her best not to stare.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I…uh…" Jane tried to explain. She didn't know why this was so much harder than it had ever been before. Maura was usually very supportive of her going on dates. "Gronan asked me to have a drink with him."

"The super hot FBI agent everyone's talking about?" Maura looked impressed. "Wow, Jane. I dare say you'll be the envy of every woman _and_ man in the station if you can nail that one."

"Jesus, Maura!" Jane snapped. "Keep your voice down."

"What? It's not like everyone won't find out anyway. They always do."

"Um, okay," Jane scoffed. "Why are you acting weird? Don't tell me you were trying to sleep with him."

"I'm not acting weird, and I haven't even met him, Jane, so no, I was not trying to sleep with him," she smirked, a little viciously. "Have fun. We'll be fine at home without you."

Jane couldn't believe how crazy Maura was acting. Surely she was just pissed at Jane getting a night off from being at home with the baby. Maura was far too transparent with her emotions for it to be anything else.

"Okay," Jane mouthed slowly. "Great. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Jane," Maura smiled sadly as she got up and went to the elevator.

Everything felt terribly wrong, so wrong, but Jane couldn't just cancel her plans and go home. She knew that would only be setting herself up for more torture.

"How long are you two gonna keep doing this to each other?" Frost finally spoke up.

"Jesus Christ, Frost," Jane jumped. "I forgot you were there."

"Yeah, I know," he grumbled. "Not the first time, won't be the last."

"Sorry," she shook her head. "What were you…"

Frost scooted his chair over to Jane's desk so he could whisper.

"Look. The two of you go back and forth making each other jealous every other week."

"Uh, excuse me?" Jane looked horrified. "What in the hell are you talking about?"

"You _know_ what I'm talking about, Jane," he looked at her rather seriously.

"No. I don't," she insisted. "And you know what? I don't need you butting in to my personal life, okay, Frost? You don't know anything, so please, stay out of it."

"Okay, okay. Sorry," he backed away, genuinely afraid she might smack him across the face. "Just trying to help. I don't like to see two people I care about constantly hurt each other. One of these days, it might be too much."

Jane looked at him like he was high on methamphetamines and she might have to take him down by force. She breathed deeply through her nostrils and gritted her teeth before standing abruptly, grabbing her coat and heading to The Dirty Robber.


	6. Chapter 6

At about quarter to ten, after two beers with Agent Gronan and more flirting than Jane knew was healthy, she got a call from her mother begging her to come home with some ointment for diaper rash. Jane gave Gronan a kiss on the cheek and headed to the store before making her way back to Beacon Hill.

"Where is everyone?" Jane asked as she walked in the door and met her mother at the kitchen counter. Poor little Nico was screaming his head off.

"I don't know where your brother is," Angela replied. "And Maura looked so sick after dinner I couldn't bring myself to bother her."

Jane swallowed.

"She's sick? What do you mean? Was it the soup?"

"It didn't make me sick," Angela shrugged. "I don't think it's that. She walked in with a long face this evening. I think it's over a man."

Jane shook her head and held on to the counter, trying to stop her heart from racing.

"Did she…she didn't say anything?"

"She didn't want to talk about it. That's not like her, Jane. It must be really bad."

"Huh," Jane gulped.

"Go to her," Angela grabbed the ointment and headed into the bathroom with Nico. "You're her best friend. I'm sure she'll open up to you."

Jane was so tempted to go back to her apartment. It would have been so much easier, but everything Frost said was haunting her now. If he saw it, maybe everyone else did too. Maybe she and Maura were the laughing stock of the entire department, some dirty little secret everyone was in on but them. It made her feel disgusting, but it also made her feel protective of Maura. She hated the idea of anyone making fun of her. Even worse, she hated the thought of her feeling any of the pain she was feeling. If there was any truth whatsoever to what Frost saw between them, she knew she needed to confront it, no matter what it might do to their friendship.

She used her key to unlock the main house and made her way up the stairs, where she knocked on Maura's bedroom door.

"Maura?" she called. "Can I come in?"

She opened the door before getting an answer. Maura wasn't on her bed, but the light was on in the bathroom.

"Maura?" she called again.

Finally, Maura stepped into the doorframe, hair down and in her grey sweats, make-up off, eyes a little puffy. The light from the bathroom illuminated every curve, bringing out the red highlights in her hair. Jane's heart felt like it would fall through her ribs and onto the floor.

"Maur…are you…"

"I'm fine," she insisted, even as she sniffed, turning around and going back into the bathroom for a tissue.

"You don't look fine," Jane insisted, crossing the room and entering the bathroom, where she found Maura sitting on the closed toilet seat, blowing her nose. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Maura shouted, which was very out of character. "I said I'm fine."

"Maura, no you're not!" Jane kneeled in front of the seat and reached up, tracing the sides of her face, just like Maura had done in her confessional dream.

Maura closed her eyes and tried to breathe normally, but soon the tears were falling again and her shoulders were shaking.

"Maur, please tell me what's wrong."

Maura sniffed again and opened her eyes.

"Why are you here?" Maura asked. "I thought you had a date."

"I had a drink. With a co-worker. It wasn't a date."

"Did you give him a kiss on the cheek when you left?" Maura asked through tears.

Jane tried to control her facial expressions, but it was extremely difficult.

"I…yeah…"

"Then it was a date," the blonde huffed, wiping her eyes and standing, grabbing another tissue.

"Maura, what the hell is wrong with you!? I hate seeing you upset like this."

"I'm not upset," Maura continued to insist.

"Stop lying!" Jane yelled. "You're gonna get hives."

"Too late," Maura itched at her neck as she leaned against the bathroom counter.

"Are you overwhelmed because of the baby?" Jane asked. "I knew it was too much. We'll find another way to make it work. Ma can stay with me, if that's…"

"No!" Maura sniffed, blowing her nose again. "I don't want your mother and Nico to leave. I love having them here."

"Okay," Jane sighed, leaning against the counter next to her, rubbing her arm through the grey cotton. "Then please tell me why you're crying."

Maura finally looked at her again, and the sadness in those gorgeous green eyes threatened to suck all the air out of Jane's lungs.

"I can't," Maura cried.

"Yes, you can. Please," Jane grabbed her shoulders and held her as firmly as she could without hurting her. "What's wrong? I want to help. What can I do?"

"You can be here," Maura shouted. "Be here when I need you."

"I'm sorry, when am I not here?" Jane started to lose her temper. "I've been here every single night for the past week, and even before that. I am _always_ here for you, Maura. I went out for a couple hours, and now I'm here. What more do you want from me!?"

Maura looked at her again for a few seconds before grabbing her face and kissing her hard. Jane's hands flew off Maura's shoulders and fell down to her sides as Maura's lips brushed over hers incessantly. She felt her back hit the wall across from the bathroom counter and Maura's tongue just barely lick across her bottom lip before she pulled away.

Everything was still and silent for what seemed much longer than it actually was. Jane opened her eyes, met Maura's, and pulled her back into her lips, kissing softly, letting years of tension slip away from her bones. She brought her hands to Maura's cheeks and stroked them lightly with her thumbs, even as her lips furiously slipped over Maura's mouth. She pushed her tongue inside, meeting Maura's sweet, salty taste. They lapped at each other hungrily, and Jane pushed Maura back against the counter, then lifted her onto it in one smooth motion. Maura wrapped her legs behind Jane's back and allowed herself to be pushed against the mirror as Jane trailed kisses down the side of her neck and moved her hands to the waist of her sweatshirt.

"Jane," Maura sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry," Jane growled, tears in her eyes as she licked and sucked all along Maura's collarbone and felt the smooth skin of her stomach, just beneath her shirt.

"Don't be," Maura pushed her away for a moment, but kept her legs wrapped around Jane's waist. Both their faces were streaked with tears and they looked absolutely delirious at each other.

Maura finally laughed a little, madly, before pulling her shirt off, revealing the swells of her breasts just hidden by her thin sports bra. She grabbed for Jane again as she slipped off the counter, pushing her back into the wall, hard. Jane laughed too, insanely, bringing her lips back to Maura's and her hands to cup the breasts pressing against her. Maura moaned, and Jane felt like she might collapse. She summoned all of her strength and pulled Maura with her into the bedroom, throwing her on the bed as sweetly as she could before lying on top of her. They continued to kiss with abandon, tongue dancing, fingers tracing, trailing, tickling up and down each other's sides. Maura reached between them and grasped at the hem of Jane's white tank, but Jane grabbed her hand before she could pull it off.

"Wait," Jane breathed heavily, kissing Maura once more before pulling back.

"What?" Maura sighed, just as breathless, keeping her eyes closed until she felt Jane's fingers on the sides of her face, beckoning her to open them. She looked up at Jane, who was shaking so hard she was afraid she might be having a myocardial infarction.

Jane squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again before shaking her head and backing off Maura's body until she was standing next to the bed.

"I can't do this," Jane whispered. "I told myself I wouldn't. We can't."

"What? No," Maura sat up, panicked. "Please…"

"I'm sorry," Jane shook her head again and grabbed Maura's hand, squeezing it, before running out the door.

Maura continued to sit there, stunned, until she started crying again, lying back against the pillows, curling in to a ball and rocking back and forth until she was asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Jane was late to the office the next morning after tossing and turning all night. She had never felt like her life was more fucked than it was right now, not even through all of the terror with Hoyt. Maura's friendship was the most important, steadfast thing she had in her life. To have it all taken away because of one night when they were both feeling vulnerable and out of control was more than she could handle. She knew she had to get to work, but she couldn't bear the thought of facing Maura after running out on her. She hoped that somehow they would both just forget it and move on like it never happened, but she knew she could never be so lucky.

"We've got a break," Korsak told Jane as she stepped off the elevator. "Where have you been? Gronan and his team nabbed Bonesucker last night while we were all sleeping."

"I wasn't sleeping," Jane grumbled.

"Look, I don't need to know what you were doing, but I do need you here now," he barked.

"I'm here, Korsak!" Jane growled back. "Jesus."

"Sorry," Korsak apologized. "I just want this case to be over. These bastards have taken out over a hundred women. This is bigger than Little T."

"I know," Jane put her hand on her former partner's shoulder. "Trust me, I know."

"Korsak, you wanted…" Maura stopped speaking when she saw Jane standing next to him.

"Do you have the prints from the shell casing we found at the scene?" Korsak asked.

"Here's a copy," Maura said flatly, offering him the folder before turning back towards the elevator.

"Morning, Maura," Jane practically whispered.

"It's twelve-thirty," Maura shot back without looking at her. "Good afternoon, Detective Rizzoli."

Jane watched as the elevator doors closed behind her. She bit her lip so hard it bled, then turned around and went back to her desk. She looked over at Frost, who had clearly seen the interaction, and sat there shaking his head.

* * *

As it turned out, the young woman they found dead near Fenway was the girlfriend of one of the newly-initiated gang members in the car with Bonesucker. When the recruit couldn't finish her off, Bonesucker shot both of them, taking the man's body and dumping him elsewhere, but leaving the girl behind. The print found on the casing tipped them off to who had at least loaded the gun, but not necessarily fired it. When he turned up dead, they were able to put all the pieces together and link him back to his girlfriend through friends who knew them both. Finally, Agent Gronan was able to use one of Rondo's connects to locate Bonesucker's second-in-command, who was willing to give him up.

Jane would have been much more thrilled with the outcome had she not felt like she was the worst person on earth. Gronan asked her out again to celebrate, but she declined, deciding instead to leave early for the day and visit a place she hadn't set foot in since she was a child.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," she began as she adjusted herself in the chair, the familiar smell of turpentine and musk filling her nose, bringing her back. "It's been…a very long time…since my last confession…"

She had to pause, her voice threatening to break.

"Whenever you're ready, dear," the elderly priest offered gently through the screen.

"I, uh…" she sniffed, wiping her tears. "I fell in love with someone I know I'm not supposed to love. I've tried everything to make it go away, but…it won't. And last night, I did something…let this person know, sort of, how I feel. But it can't happen."

"Why can't it happen?"

Jane was surprised at the response. She thought he would simply tell her what penance she needed to say and send her out.

"Um…it can't happen because….well, because we're two women," she finally confessed, figuring she had nothing to lose. "And I know the church's stance on it. Personally, I'm not against it, at all, it's just…"

She took a deep breath and folded her hands in front of her before continuing.

"All my life I've been called out on it. Told I was different, even called a dyke. It hurt, but I knew that deep down, on some level, it was true. I thought if I tried hard enough to make it go away, it would. And my Pop… well, he told me if I was, I'd better just not tell him, or anyone."

"I see," the priest offered tenderly.

"So here I am now, telling you," Jane laughed through her tears. "But as it turns out, my Pop's not the man we all thought he was either. He left my mom, tried to get their marriage of thirty years annulled so he could run off with a twenty-eight year old who just gave birth to my brother's child. So, you know what, Father? I guess what I don't understand is, why do I keep feeling so terrible about myself, when everyone else seems to have far worse skeletons in their closet than I do? All I ever did was love. Why is that wrong?"

"It isn't wrong to love, Jane," the priest chimed in.

"Excuse me?" Jane almost choked.

"Jane Rizzoli, isn't it? I thought that was you. I'd recognize that deep voice anywhere."

"Uh," Jane started to panic. "Isn't this supposed to be anonymous?"

"Don't worry. I won't say anything," he spoke softly. "I've known you since you were a little girl. You were never afraid to be exactly who you are. Why start now?"

"Uh," she sniffed again, thinking. "I've always been afraid, Father."

"That's not the Jane Rizzoli I remember," he shook his head. "The Jane I remember was fearless. Strong. Happy."

"I guess it's been a long time."

"As far as I'm concerned, it's not a sin to be happy, to be who you are, love who you love."

Jane was baffled.

"Did I walk into the right church?"

"You're in Massachussetts," he laughed. "And times have changed, my dear. Some of us have opened our hearts and minds. That's what the Lord really wants."

"Thank you, Father," she replied, still in a bit of shock.

"Anytime, Jane. Tell your mother I said hello. It killed me to sign the annulment papers. Angela's a good woman."

"Yes, she is, Father," Jane sniffed, smiling. "Thank you. I'll tell her."

For the first time in her life, Jane felt renewed and invigorated as she walked out of church. She still wasn't sure how she felt about religion, but she was thankful for the kindness she'd found unexpectedly, and very thankful, for the first time in a long time, that she was born and raised in Boston.

* * *

"Hi, Ma," Jane greeted her as she walked into the guest house. She looked around for Maura, but didn't see her.

"Hi, Jane," Angela looked up as her daughter joined her on the couch where she was feeding Nico.

"How is he?"

"Good, good," she smiled widely. "So good. Right, my little man?"

Jane smiled down at the tiny face. He looked very happy indeed.

"Where's Maura?"

"In her room," Angela sighed. "Still sulking I think."

"Ma," Jane swallowed, gathering all of her strength. "I have to tell you something, but… I'm really afraid of what you'll say."

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli," Angela admonished. "You know you can tell me anything and I will always love you, no matter what."

"Good," Jane shook her head, doing her best to hold back tears, but failing. "Because…what I have to tell you is…"

"What is it, baby?"

"I'm in love with Maura, Ma."

"I know, honey," Angela told her calmly.

"What?" Jane pulled away a little, shocked. "You do?"

"Sure, I do. I'm not as unworldly as everyone thinks," she sniffed. "And she's in love with you too."

Jane's eyes shot wide open.

"She is?"

"Of course she is. I may not completely understand it, but I know enough to know that it's happening. At first I thought it was just you who had a crush on her, like you did with Ginny Ribese in the second grade."

Jane couldn't help but laugh through her tears, even as she rolled her eyes.

"But then I started noticing the way Maura looks at you, how upset she got when you didn't come home the other night," Angela continued. "I didn't say anything 'cause I didn't think it was my place. And besides, I don't know anything about two women getting together. So I kept my mouth shut."

"Ma," Jane choked up, laying a hand on her mother's shoulder. "You know more about love than anyone I know. Can you just forget the 'two women' part and focus on 'two people' who love each other?"

Angela finished feeding Nico, putting down the bottle and placing him back in his bouncy chair on the floor.

"You know what, Jane?" Angela said, turning to her daughter. "You're very smart. You've learned more from me than I thought."

"I love you, Ma," Jane hugged her mother tightly, and Angela hugged back even harder. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Angela laughed. "But you better go make things right with her. I don't know what you did, but she's very upset."

Jane sighed.

"I don't know what to say. I've thought about it a million times, and I still don't know what..."

"Just tell her how you feel," Angela recommended. "Tell her you love her. End of story."

"I wish it was that simple."

"Maybe it is that simple," Angela argued. "Why does everything always have to be complicated?"

Jane laughed again, shaking her head, kissing her mother on the cheek.

"You're a genius, Ma."

"I love you, Janey!" Angela called after her as she left. "Go get your woman. And try not to slam each other up against anything this time."

Jane froze as she held the door open, looking back at her mother, horrified.

"What? It's an old house. The walls are thin."

Jane rolled her eyes and left the guest house, taking a deep breath and hoping her mother was right about the girl next door.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey," Jane knocked on Maura's bedroom door as she entered. "Can I come in?"

Maura sat on the edge of the bed, putting lotion on her legs in her royal blue silk robe. She attempted to look up at Jane with the most deadly glare she could muster, but Jane could see right through to the hurt underneath.

"No," Maura told her before looking back down.

"Well too late," Jane sighed, smirking a little, trying her best not to appear as anxious as she was. "I'm already here."

Maura huffed, putting the lotion back on the night stand and turning to face Jane, who was now sitting next to her.

"You're supposed to ask _before_ opening the door," Maura stated primly. "Then wait for a response."

"Sorry."

"No you're not."

"Alright, I'm not," Jane admitted. "Do you have any idea how nervous I am right now?"

"Do you have any idea how nervous I was last night that you'd do exactly what you did?"

Jane looked away, running her fingers through her wavy brown locks, trying to gather just the right words. She took a deep breath, swallowed back her guilt, and faced the blonde.

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left."

Maura shook her head a little, rolling her eyes.

"Maura," Jane took a leap and grabbed her hand, pulling it to her chest. "I am truly, truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart that I was an idiot last night. And I will continue to say I'm sorry until you believe me and we can talk about this. Please forgive me."

The corners of Maura's mouth began to unfreeze and slowly creep into a smile. She continued to let Jane hold her hand, moving it down to the bed between them.

"That's a start," she smirked.

"Thank god," Jane sighed, kicking off her boots and bringing her legs up onto the bed so she could sit cross-legged, facing the other woman. Maura crossed her legs and gathered her robe at the chest, trying to keep some sense of modesty. Jane recognized it as pure game, but was willing to play along.

"So…you wanna tell me what happened last night?" Jane asked softly. "Why were you crazy jealous all of a sudden?"

"Not all of a sudden," Maura bit back. "I've always been jealous. I'm just better at hiding it than you are."

Jane smiled. She was beginning to feel such a deep sense of relief that their flirtation hadn't been all in her head, she relaxed her shoulders and squeezed Maura's hand a little harder.

"How does that work for someone who breaks out in hives when they have to lie?"

"It's not exactly lying," Maura insisted. "Just…not sharing the whole truth. I was scared."

Jane rolled her eyes, even as her heart rate continued to speed up.

"What were you scared of?"

Maura looked at her again, moving a little closer, rubbing the back of Jane's hand with her thumb.

"I was afraid of losing you."

"Me too!" Jane couldn't help but shout. "That's exactly how I feel. Exactly. What if…whatever this is…doesn't work? Then what?"

Maura just looked at her with tears in her eyes, shaking her head very subtly.

"I can't lose you, Maura," Jane continued. "And as much as I want very, very badly to kiss you again, I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than lose you any other way."

Maura smiled and laughed a little, sniffing before bringing her fingers to trace Jane's lovely cheekbones.

"That's how I know."

"What?" Jane asked, almost breathless as she brought her hands to Maura's, holding them as they held her face.

"That you really love me," Maura sniffed. "That you're not going anywhere. You already know all my quirks and habits. You're the only one who even listens to half the things I say. We even know how to fight and make up already."

"That's true," Jane laughed, sniffling a little herself.

"And when I saw you with Nico, holding that beautiful little boy, something in me just…clicked. I knew it before, but somehow, seeing you with the baby, and then you finally admitting that we're family, I knew I couldn't pretend this was anything other than what it is anymore."

Jane was melting fast. She brought one of Maura's hands to her lips and lightly kissed it, closing her eyes at the feeling of the soft skin, even as her head continued to reel with questions.

"But what about all the guys?" Jane had to ask. "Why would…"

"Sometimes it takes a lot of trying to talk yourself out of something to realize it just won't work," Maura admitted, shaking her head. "I think you know what I mean."

Jane nodded.

"Yeah. I do."

Maura brought her thumbs to trace Jane's lips, facing her fully.

"No one has ever made me feel like you do, Jane. Even when we're just talking, just hanging out, being us…I feel perfect. I feel like nothing can hurt me. You make even the most mundane moments in life feel like Christmas. You're everything."

"God," Jane sniffed, letting the tears fall happily down her cheeks. "I love you."

"I love you too," Maura breathed back. "So much."

Jane gently grabbed the back of Maura's head and brought their lips together, kissing deeply, so deeply. Maura pushed Jane's jacket off her shoulders and onto the floor as their tongues melded together in their mouths and they very greedily, very fully indulged in the most intense kiss either of them could have ever imagined. Maura bit Jane's bottom lip before sucking it in, just as she felt Jane's fingertips gliding down her neck. Maura finally uncrossed her legs and brought herself to lie fully on the bed, still staying covered, but letting Jane position herself between her legs. The pressure from Jane's heavy belt on the soft space just barely covered by the blue silk made the blonde moan deeply into Jane's mouth.

"Mmm," Jane tried to speak, unlocking their lips for just a moment. "We can't be too loud…Ma…she heard us…"

"She what?" Maura snapped her head back.

"Don't worry," Jane smiled, pushing some of Maura's hair out of her face. "She gets it... I just don't want…"

"Right now, I couldn't care less," Maura shook her head and smiled devilishly, pulling Jane down against her body harder, grabbing Jane's ass and squeezing her globes, digging her nails into them over her black police pants.

"I can't believe this is happening." Jane nuzzled into her ear.

Maura nibbled Jane's neck while reaching down between them and undoing her belt. Jane allowed it to be slid off, and then unzipped herself and pushed the trousers to the side, leaving her in nothing but black cotton briefs and a matching bra, covered by her white tank. Jane positioned her hip bone perfectly between Maura's legs, still too nervous to look between them, but allowing her hip to be grinded into as Maura thrust her pelvis against the bone. Jane wrapped her legs around Maura's thigh and kissed her even harder than before, sucking her lips so fiercely she was almost afraid they'd bruise. Maura squirmed beneath her and breathed heavily, so heavily.

"You okay?" Jane asked.

"God, yes."

Maura gently pushed Jane's brunette locks behind her ear, trailing her fingers across her now sweaty forehead, then down her cheek, to her chin, before making her way to her chest. Jane smiled and lifted the white tank off and over her head, revealing breasts that Maura was able to fit perfectly into the palms of her hands. Jane smiled as Maura cupped them, squeezing almost reverently, which Jane ate up. Maura trailed her fingers to Jane's back, tracing over the sensitive scar tissue there, which caused Jane to arch her back.

"Good?"

"Uh huh," Jane continued to look down at her love, breathing deeply, letting go of all the hang ups and internalized shame she'd felt for so many years. She allowed Maura to undo her bra and send it to the floor with the rest of her clothes, save for her underwear. Maura brought her hands to Jane's bare breasts and cupped them again, squeezing harder this time as Jane closed her eyes and moved her legs to straddle Maura's waist. Maura slowly dragged her thumbs across Jane's tight nipples, then pinched them between her thumb and forefinger.

"Maur…" Jane arched her back again, before coming down against her chest, kissing her softer this time, letting her feel just how desired and adored she was through every brush and lick.

Finally, she mustered up the courage to move her hands to Maura's robe, bringing her fingers a little hesitantly to the blue, silk edges just over her collarbones. She pulled back to look into Maura's eyes, asking for permission.

"Please take it off," Maura whispered quickly, tracing her fingers down Jane's abs, growing wetter by the moment as she relished in the feeling of the tight muscles beneath her touch.

Jane sighed at the sensation and disbelief of what she was about to do, then slowly pulled back the robe, parting it at the chest and letting it fall to either side of Maura's torso, revealing gorgeously tanned, generous breasts, nipples erect and perfectly pink. Jane let her eyes drink up the sight, and Maura appeared to be getting even more turned on as Jane glowed looking at her. She trailed her eyes down to take in the beautiful stomach, followed by the delicately trimmed patch of reddish-blonde curls at the apex of Maura's thighs. Jane shuddered.

"Oh my god," she repeated as Maura sat up and let the robe fall off completely, pushing it onto the floor. Now she lay completely naked beneath her best friend for the first time, feeling more exposed and more appreciated than ever.

"Touch me," she breathed deeply as she grabbed Jane's hands and trailed them down her chest. Jane kneaded her breasts, before bringing her mouth down to one of the nipples, sucking it into her mouth. Maura wrapped her legs tightly around Jane's back and breathed in sharply as Jane bit down gently on the taut mound of skin.

"Jane," she sighed sweetly. It sent shockwaves down Jane's legs and up inside her, forcing her hips to buck against Maura's thighs. Maura reached down between them again and pushed Jane's panties off, letting Jane kick them to the floor. They finally lay completely naked against each other, breathing in each other's scent, marveling at how their heartbeats seemed to synch within their chests.

"I love you," Jane whispered into Maura's ear again, holding her so tight.

"I love you too," Maura kissed across Jane's cheek to her lips.

The blonde was the first to bring her hand back down between them, urging Jane's hips to lift just enough so she could fix her hand between them. She gently grabbed the small mound of dark hair and flesh, squeezing as she looked up into Jane's eyes and fully took in the fact that she was making love to her best friend, the most amazing, beautiful, hilarious and brilliant person she'd ever met.

Jane moaned so deeply she couldn't keep her hands away from Maura any longer. She brought her fingers between Maura's thighs, and the blonde spread them wide enough to let her in. Jane trailed her fingers through the gratuitously wet folds, smiling seductively as Maura absolutely lost it beneath her.

The blonde used her own fingers to spread Jane's equally wet lips and search until she found the hard nub she was looking for. Jane's body threatened to collapse, but she kept herself steady as she began fingering Maura's clit, rubbing it over and over again, just as the blonde was doing to her.

"Oh fuck," Maura sighed softly, moving her head from side to side against the pillow.

"You're so…so…" Jane tried to speak as her eyes threatened to roll back.

"Beautiful…you…are so…." Maura continued to writhe. "Go inside me, please."

Jane complied immediately, pressing two fingers inside the blonde, burying them as deep as she could. She felt Maura clench around her as she shook and continued to thrust herself hard against Jane's hand. Jane was intoxicated with the warm sensation. Maura somehow managed to move her fingers inside Jane as well, and the brunette's breath caught as she rode the hand plummeting into her deeply. All the while, Jane continued to use her thumb to trace over Maura's clit, and soon the blonde was shaking so violently Jane thought she might faint.

"I'm coming! I'm coming…so hard…yes," Maura tried not to shout too loudly as she let go of Jane's cunt and wrapped her arms behind her back, digging her nails into her skin as she came. Jane kissed Maura's neck softly, lapping up the sweat as she lowered herself onto her body and wrapped her limbs around her, hugging her, holding her just as she had always wanted.

Neither said anything for what felt like minutes. Just as Jane was getting worried, Maura finally spoke.

"Wow," she breathed heavily.

"Yeah," Jane whispered against her chest. "Wow."

Maura rolled them over, landing on top. She looked down at the brunette in awe, kissing her hard, then tracing the sides of her face just as they had begun.

"That was amazing."

"Better than you expected?" Jane sheepishly smirked.

"Much," Maura admitted. "Though I'm not sure how that's possible considering the amount of time I spent fantasizing about everything we just did."

"You did?" Jane continued to grin as she held onto Maura's shoulders. "Really?"

"Oh God, yes."

"Makes two of us," Jane assured her.

"You were very astute, Jane," Maura insisted as she lie next to her. "Very attentive. You knew exactly when to put your fingers inside me and just how hard to press on my pubic symphysis to make me climax."

"Did I?" Jane rolled her eyes. "I'm so glad I paid attention in anatomy class."

Maura let out an invigorated burst of laughter as she rolled on to her side and kissed Jane on the cheek.

"This is so good for us. I know we were worried about ruining our friendship, but I honestly think this is going to eliminate so much tension and stress. It'll only bring us closer."

"You think?" Jane scoffed sarcastically.

"Sex is so good for you, Jane," Maura continued. "The amount of endorphins…"

Jane cut her off by kissing her again, so sweetly, Maura almost lost her train of thought.

"…that you have yet to release," she smiled devilishly when Jane let her up for air.

"Oh yeah?" Jane smiled coyly.

Maura smirked, bringing herself to straddle the brunette.

"I'm going to make you come harder than you ever have before."

"That won't be difficult," Jane laughed.

"You have had an orgasm before, though, right Jane?"

"Uh, yes, Maura, I have," she looked at her like she was crazy.

"Just checking."

"Have you ever given a woman an orgasm before?" Jane asked, not sure if she really wanted to know the answer.

"Why?" Maura smirked. "You think going to an all-girls boarding school in France gave me a leg up?"

"Well? Did it?"

"Maybe on some things," Maura admitted, though she was being purposely elusive. "But not everything."

The blonde lowered herself onto the bed and scooted down between Jane's legs, where she eagerly eyed the glistening patch of brown curls.

"Maur…"

"Jane," Maura lovingly traced her fingernails over Jane's stomach and down her thighs, helping the brunette relax. "I've never done this before."

"Oh good…one more thing you haven't done," Jane mused. "Add it to the list. Straciatella and cunnilingus."

Maura couldn't help be laugh. Jane reached up and touched her chin. Maura kissed Jane's stomach, then lower, and lower until her face was buried in the curls. Jane shifted beneath her and moaned as Maura dragged her nose through the hair and lower, until her lips were just inches away from Jane's already soaked lips.

"Please," Jane finally begged.

Maura didn't hesitate a second longer. She drove her tongue into the folds, licking up and down, using her fingers to spread Jane wider she could find just the spot, just the rhythm to make her come.

"Ungh!" Jane moaned. "Jesus…"

Maura licked faster and faster, swirling her tongue around Jane's clit before sucking in, to which Jane bucked against her face. Maura lapped up the deliciously plentiful moisture around Jane's opening before returning her tongue to place she needed it most. Furiously she licked and lapped, until she felt Jane's hands burrow in her hair as she came.

"Fucking fuck," Jane sighed, letting her legs go limp as Maura continued to kiss her way back up her body. When she got to Jane's face, Maura let the other woman taste herself on her lips, kissing her sweetly as Jane wrapped her arms around her again and they let their limbs intertwine as they had done unwittingly so many nights when they were "just friends."

"How was it?" Maura finally asked.

Jane glared at her playfully.

"You ask the silliest questions sometimes, you know that?"

Maura laughed, pinching Jane's side. Jane pinched back. They continued to wrestle until they were out of breath again. Maura laid her head on Jane's chest, and Jane held her, kissing her forehead and closing her eyes.

"We should check on Angela and Nico soon," Maura reminded.

"Oh God," Jane scoffed. "That won't be the most awkward thing ever."

"You said she was okay with it," Maura reminded.

"She is," Jane confirmed. "But I still don't necessarily want to do the walk of shame in front of my mother."

"There's no shame in what we just did," Maura argued. "You don't feel…"

"No, Maura, I don't. It's just an expression."

"Your mother has a very healthy attitude towards sex," Maura assured her.

"And you would know this because?" Jane asked. "Wait, I don't want to know."

Maura sat up and looked down at Jane, who smiled up at her, reached for her hand and brought it to her lips. Maura beamed.

"How are we supposed to act then?" Maura asked.

"I don't know…just…act like, you know, we already do."

"When Giovanni's around?" Maura smirked.

Jane laughed hard at that.

"Okay, I hate to admit it, but I kinda started looking forward to him coming around just so we could pretend we were together."

"Me too," Maura smiled.

"Hey!" Jane suddenly realized. "You never broke out in hives when we were doing that."

"And now you know why," Maura leaned down and kissed her again.

Jane smiled against her mouth and rubbed their noses together. The two got dressed and made their way to the guest house, where they spent the rest of the night helping Angela cook, taking care of Nico, and spending time together as family.


	9. Epilogue

"What are you doing!?" Jane shouted from the booth at the TV. "God damnit!"

"Jane!" Maura scolded through her teeth.

"Sorry," Jane frowned apologetically. "I just get so pissed when they miss a ball that's right in front of their face!"

She turned to the baby sitting at the edge of the table and attempted to scoop another helping of mashed sweet potatoes into his mouth.

"Eat up, little dude," Jane smiled. "Game's gonna be over fast."

At half time, Korsak and Frost walked in and joined them, just in time to see Maura start to tear up.

"What the hell'd you do this time, Jane?" Korsak joked.

Jane scoffed.

"I can't help it if she cries every time the Red Sox play. I mean, I guess it's kinda my fault."

"It was beautiful," Maura sniffed, looking over at Jane so sweetly, the brunette couldn't help but smile.

"It was three years ago," Frost rolled his eyes.

"Hey, just because you can't get Riley to nail down a date doesn't mean you have to hate on other people's weddings," Jane teased, punching him in the arm.

"It was a very nice ceremony," Korsak whispered to Maura. "I cried too."

"Thank you," Maura smiled.

"Hi boys and girls!" Angela greeted them cheerfully, towing Nico by the hand. "What's the score?"

"You don't wanna know," Jane sulked.

"Hey, it could turn around," she insisted as she slid into the booth and lifted her grandson onto her lap. "Say hi to your cousin."

"Hi," Nico chirped, adorably.

"He's so shy," Jane smiled. "Just like Tommy at that age."

"I can't believe Tommy was ever shy," Maura shook her head.

"He's never been the most outspoken of the Rizzoli clan," Angela added.

"He's got a lot to compete with," Jane laughed.

Just as the game was about to start up again, Jane's phone rang, followed by Maura's.

"Rizzoli."

"Isles."

"Be right there. Ma…"

"I know, I know," Angela sighed as she let Jane slide out of the booth. "I'll get everybody home and in bed before the end of the game. Don't worry."

"Don't act like you don't love it," Jane smiled as she kissed her mother on the cheek. "Thanks, Ma."

"Don't mention it," Angela grinned back.

"He only gets a bottle right before bed," Maura reminded. "We're trying to wean him…"

"I got it," Angela laughed, grabbing Maura's face and pulling it down to kiss her on the forehead. "Go."

The two gave their little one a kiss on each cheek before following Frost and Korsak out to the parking lot.

"Aren't you glad you married a Rizzoli?" Jane asked once they were in the car. "You get one of us, you get all of us."

Maura shifted into gear, and before pulling into traffic, looked over lovingly at Jane.

"I wouldn't settle for anything less," she smiled.


End file.
